Old Souls
The following is a quote from a website.
1. We have times where we don't want to hear problems. We seek deep meaning in all our relationships, but sometimes we care too much. At times we might not want to hear about the harsh stuff because we’re overly sensitive. People’s suffering affects us a lot so don’t be fooled into thinking we’re surfacey and don’t care; it’s quite the opposite.
Certainly, we all have times we don't want to hear any problems, especially from those who we are close to. After we listen to these problems, we start to create different personas for these people as if they are only made of these problems but nothing more. Being the person who are reserved as the listener also makes you the sponge of drama, sorrow and darkness. We care much about them, and try to be next to them as much as possible, but sometimes, listening to the same problems does not contribute to anything.
However, the major reason we do not want to listen to is not because we are very sensitive, but because there are times we care more about our "self" rather than someone else. I do not believe that we are affected by other people's sufferings, because we are still doing what we want to do, or at least me :)
2. We need someone to "ground" us. We have a very romantic view of the world and our relationships, which is great, except when we idealize things too much and become let down by our own expectations. We love when someone can get us out of our heads and make us live in the moment.
I agree with all these statements. Unfortunately, we idealize the love itself rather than the person who can actualize this love, we are smashed under the burden of this ideal and theoretical love image. Our expectations become our enemies. When we start trying to manipulate the expectations, as if it is possible, we also recognize that the ideal love is getting ruined. We always find ourselves between the ideal love and the practical one for the sake of not ending lonely!
We love people who manage to get us our heads and make us live in the moment, but these moments are later creating more expectations from these people. In a way, nice times are giving birth to new expectations, so you get lost within this cyclic mechanism: enjoying time-expecting-ruining
3. We have a lot of enigmatic traits. On one hand we value stability, but on the other hand we also require a lot of freedom in our lives and in our relationships, so it can get a bit tricky. If we feel secure with you but also that you give us freedom, we will really thrive.
Of course we both like freedom and stability. Stability means that we will be together to the extent we will have our own personal freedoms. But the tricky part is the measure of this extent! Sometimes, we can find ourselves trying to adjust the freedom, but in fact using this "freedom" game as an excuse to be away from this person and his/her characteristics that make us bored. Or, we like freedom to the extent that we will not find ourselves lonely at the end of the day. So, one should be careful while differentiating between what is freedom, what is stability, and how these two can go together.
Otherwise, people who do not know what they want might use both these parts as an excuse to take you out or into their lives depending on the conditions!
4. We can't have casual encounters. Try as we might, we will never be able to have a causal encounter with someone who we're romantically involved with. This can be a bitch because even if we're not seeking a life-long partnership we will still need our romantic experiences to have a deeper meaning. So yeah, if we get romantically involved with you it means we feel a connection that goes beyond the surface level. What can we do; we want and need real passion.
That is the tough one. This point shows our sorrow! It is also the side effect of our expectations (see #2). If we feel like we are romantically involved with someone, even if the someone is not aware of that, we suddenly start to expect because of the fact that romantic stuff sometimes appear with the moments when you can live the moment! As soon as you recognize your expectations, which is an indication of possible prospective ruins, we try our best to have casual encounters. It is tough, it is very tough with such people you are romantically involved.
5. We’re unconventional. About our life and standards of living. Which means we will never just accept something, we question everything and investigate things for ourselves. Be prepared for a lot of creative thinking.
Maybe, it is a different way to say "we are awesome", in good and bad manners. There is nothing wrong with the convention. On the contrary, it is quite comforting as long as you are OK with it. I believe "unconvention" comes with so long and so many navigations. I am not sure what they mean with the standards of living here, but it should not mean that "we cannot live without this/or/that". Even, it is the opposite.
Also, never is a huge word. Maybe inside, we do not accept something, but to the outside, we may accept something to tolerate and let high octave voices take the scene. We have our inner voice taking the scene in our mind.
6. We see the world and our life on a much larger scale. Because of that, our philosophical views can impact our relationships and the way we interpret the things that happen in our lives.
There was a time I was viewing the world on a larger scale, and my life. But not anymore... I was post-modernist, and this view was affecting my relationships too. I was accepting things, my life and all happenings around me as things in a huge change. That also affected my belief that there is no certainty, no definite information, even for science. The points which we take for granted might be bullshit in future, but we cannot be aware of that right now... These things first affect relationships with the capacity that you know that you can change too. It is the side effect of our aforementioned freedom, and potential to break the linearity of life and makes it curvy. Imagining parallel lives allow you to create one of them by taking a risk.
It was long time ago. Now, my memory does not allow me much of interference with philosophical thinking or interpreting stuff the way it is. The equation to interpret the life with new inputs became a lot messy.
7. Don’t underestimate our instincts. If we say we “have a feeling” about something, just go with it. Seriously, just shut up and go with it. Just kidding. But our intuition is really never wrong.
OK. Tell me more about these instincts: what are those? how do they work? do you have a feeling or instinct about someone? does your inner voice tell you not be at somewhere tomorrow, next week?
So far, my instincts about people or events did not work well. I have a naive side which allows me to get along with things whatever they are... And I am not very good with reading people. Or those people who I cannot read manage to attract me... Maybe the inability to read creates a mystery, which results in an attraction.
8. Don’t worry about going overboard with impressing us. Okay, that doesn't mean not making an effort, it means that It’s the simple things in life we have the most fun with. The easiest way to our heart is just doing things like going on long drives, doing spontaneous, random things and conversations that last long into the night. We value seemingly simplistic gestures that take a lot of effort but not a lot of materialism.
In fact, we are not looking for any thing special, anything huge... Anything can be so special after it is done with you, if you make it so special. So, it is not something easy to define for you. It is not a box full of chocolate, or a dozen of red flowers, not mentioning of a poem written by you, or by me... But being wet under a thunderstorm, a long-lasting conversation in your car at the middle of the night might be special because it is just with you!
And, it does not have to be a lot of effort at all too. Romance comes out of spontaneity! It cannot be romance since it has been planned!
9. Yes, we can be brooding. But this has nothing to do with being pessimistic. We see the potential for humanity and have a lot of faith and expectations so this can sometimes be the cause of a lot of pain and disappointment. At times we need some time alone to reflect but sometimes we'll just need you to get us out of our heads.
Yes indeed, we brood a lot. You can easily find us while we are day dreaming, isolating ourselves from the crowd unintentionally.
We don't think much about humanity, we only daydream about our and people's humanity surrounding us. And here we go: you came to my point - we are the victims of our expectations, which are the reasons of our pains and disappointments...
10. Communication = Greatest form of intimacy. Communication is one of the greatest forms of intimacy to us. Old souls are very cerebral people. Hearing about your history, learning about the way you look at life, and how you understand the world around you based on your past experiences, is exactly what helps us to better connect with the person we’re dating. None of your stories are unimportant. We want to hear it all.
Yes, communication is the greatest way of intimacy, but it is not the tool or means for any type of intimacy. We cannot plan to communicate and tell our story in little pieces for the sake of generating an intimacy that we are longing. The communication should be fluid, unexpected and spontaneous with no trace of plan. That way, you can feel connected, and hopefully, we are talking about a bi-directional connection here!!!
Communication is the way of opening our heart for someone else, sharing our inner voice that has not been much shared at all. This is also tricky because when we share, we are giving that person an opportunity to break our heart: The more we share, the more our heart will be broken. However, we would get into it willingly and knowingly.
1. We have times where we don't want to hear problems. We seek deep meaning in all our relationships, but sometimes we care too much. At times we might not want to hear about the harsh stuff because we’re overly sensitive. People’s suffering affects us a lot so don’t be fooled into thinking we’re surfacey and don’t care; it’s quite the opposite.
Certainly, we all have times we don't want to hear any problems, especially from those who we are close to. After we listen to these problems, we start to create different personas for these people as if they are only made of these problems but nothing more. Being the person who are reserved as the listener also makes you the sponge of drama, sorrow and darkness. We care much about them, and try to be next to them as much as possible, but sometimes, listening to the same problems does not contribute to anything.
However, the major reason we do not want to listen to is not because we are very sensitive, but because there are times we care more about our "self" rather than someone else. I do not believe that we are affected by other people's sufferings, because we are still doing what we want to do, or at least me :)
2. We need someone to "ground" us. We have a very romantic view of the world and our relationships, which is great, except when we idealize things too much and become let down by our own expectations. We love when someone can get us out of our heads and make us live in the moment.
I agree with all these statements. Unfortunately, we idealize the love itself rather than the person who can actualize this love, we are smashed under the burden of this ideal and theoretical love image. Our expectations become our enemies. When we start trying to manipulate the expectations, as if it is possible, we also recognize that the ideal love is getting ruined. We always find ourselves between the ideal love and the practical one for the sake of not ending lonely!
We love people who manage to get us our heads and make us live in the moment, but these moments are later creating more expectations from these people. In a way, nice times are giving birth to new expectations, so you get lost within this cyclic mechanism: enjoying time-expecting-ruining
3. We have a lot of enigmatic traits. On one hand we value stability, but on the other hand we also require a lot of freedom in our lives and in our relationships, so it can get a bit tricky. If we feel secure with you but also that you give us freedom, we will really thrive.
Of course we both like freedom and stability. Stability means that we will be together to the extent we will have our own personal freedoms. But the tricky part is the measure of this extent! Sometimes, we can find ourselves trying to adjust the freedom, but in fact using this "freedom" game as an excuse to be away from this person and his/her characteristics that make us bored. Or, we like freedom to the extent that we will not find ourselves lonely at the end of the day. So, one should be careful while differentiating between what is freedom, what is stability, and how these two can go together.
Otherwise, people who do not know what they want might use both these parts as an excuse to take you out or into their lives depending on the conditions!
4. We can't have casual encounters. Try as we might, we will never be able to have a causal encounter with someone who we're romantically involved with. This can be a bitch because even if we're not seeking a life-long partnership we will still need our romantic experiences to have a deeper meaning. So yeah, if we get romantically involved with you it means we feel a connection that goes beyond the surface level. What can we do; we want and need real passion.
That is the tough one. This point shows our sorrow! It is also the side effect of our expectations (see #2). If we feel like we are romantically involved with someone, even if the someone is not aware of that, we suddenly start to expect because of the fact that romantic stuff sometimes appear with the moments when you can live the moment! As soon as you recognize your expectations, which is an indication of possible prospective ruins, we try our best to have casual encounters. It is tough, it is very tough with such people you are romantically involved.
5. We’re unconventional. About our life and standards of living. Which means we will never just accept something, we question everything and investigate things for ourselves. Be prepared for a lot of creative thinking.
Maybe, it is a different way to say "we are awesome", in good and bad manners. There is nothing wrong with the convention. On the contrary, it is quite comforting as long as you are OK with it. I believe "unconvention" comes with so long and so many navigations. I am not sure what they mean with the standards of living here, but it should not mean that "we cannot live without this/or/that". Even, it is the opposite.
Also, never is a huge word. Maybe inside, we do not accept something, but to the outside, we may accept something to tolerate and let high octave voices take the scene. We have our inner voice taking the scene in our mind.
6. We see the world and our life on a much larger scale. Because of that, our philosophical views can impact our relationships and the way we interpret the things that happen in our lives.
There was a time I was viewing the world on a larger scale, and my life. But not anymore... I was post-modernist, and this view was affecting my relationships too. I was accepting things, my life and all happenings around me as things in a huge change. That also affected my belief that there is no certainty, no definite information, even for science. The points which we take for granted might be bullshit in future, but we cannot be aware of that right now... These things first affect relationships with the capacity that you know that you can change too. It is the side effect of our aforementioned freedom, and potential to break the linearity of life and makes it curvy. Imagining parallel lives allow you to create one of them by taking a risk.
It was long time ago. Now, my memory does not allow me much of interference with philosophical thinking or interpreting stuff the way it is. The equation to interpret the life with new inputs became a lot messy.
7. Don’t underestimate our instincts. If we say we “have a feeling” about something, just go with it. Seriously, just shut up and go with it. Just kidding. But our intuition is really never wrong.
OK. Tell me more about these instincts: what are those? how do they work? do you have a feeling or instinct about someone? does your inner voice tell you not be at somewhere tomorrow, next week?
So far, my instincts about people or events did not work well. I have a naive side which allows me to get along with things whatever they are... And I am not very good with reading people. Or those people who I cannot read manage to attract me... Maybe the inability to read creates a mystery, which results in an attraction.
8. Don’t worry about going overboard with impressing us. Okay, that doesn't mean not making an effort, it means that It’s the simple things in life we have the most fun with. The easiest way to our heart is just doing things like going on long drives, doing spontaneous, random things and conversations that last long into the night. We value seemingly simplistic gestures that take a lot of effort but not a lot of materialism.
In fact, we are not looking for any thing special, anything huge... Anything can be so special after it is done with you, if you make it so special. So, it is not something easy to define for you. It is not a box full of chocolate, or a dozen of red flowers, not mentioning of a poem written by you, or by me... But being wet under a thunderstorm, a long-lasting conversation in your car at the middle of the night might be special because it is just with you!
And, it does not have to be a lot of effort at all too. Romance comes out of spontaneity! It cannot be romance since it has been planned!
9. Yes, we can be brooding. But this has nothing to do with being pessimistic. We see the potential for humanity and have a lot of faith and expectations so this can sometimes be the cause of a lot of pain and disappointment. At times we need some time alone to reflect but sometimes we'll just need you to get us out of our heads.
Yes indeed, we brood a lot. You can easily find us while we are day dreaming, isolating ourselves from the crowd unintentionally.
We don't think much about humanity, we only daydream about our and people's humanity surrounding us. And here we go: you came to my point - we are the victims of our expectations, which are the reasons of our pains and disappointments...
10. Communication = Greatest form of intimacy. Communication is one of the greatest forms of intimacy to us. Old souls are very cerebral people. Hearing about your history, learning about the way you look at life, and how you understand the world around you based on your past experiences, is exactly what helps us to better connect with the person we’re dating. None of your stories are unimportant. We want to hear it all.
Yes, communication is the greatest way of intimacy, but it is not the tool or means for any type of intimacy. We cannot plan to communicate and tell our story in little pieces for the sake of generating an intimacy that we are longing. The communication should be fluid, unexpected and spontaneous with no trace of plan. That way, you can feel connected, and hopefully, we are talking about a bi-directional connection here!!!
Communication is the way of opening our heart for someone else, sharing our inner voice that has not been much shared at all. This is also tricky because when we share, we are giving that person an opportunity to break our heart: The more we share, the more our heart will be broken. However, we would get into it willingly and knowingly.
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